Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
