You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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