and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I still have a little drunk in my system
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
