it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
