Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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