The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
