I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
