dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
