hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She bit a glass in half.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Randomize
