He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
