Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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