i jhust puked up my retainher.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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