We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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