brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Mom said you looked used
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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