forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
