Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
