I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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