i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
