we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
