I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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