Define "chronic" masturbator.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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