Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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