woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
