we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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