Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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