Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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