why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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