# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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