I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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