It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
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