found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
