The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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