Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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