if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
