Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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