whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
