did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
