i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he shaved USA in his pubs
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
