Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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