No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
