i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
