But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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