just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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