i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
