...so i touched it.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
