at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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