I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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