We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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