$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
