We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
