i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
