I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
