i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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