I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
